riddle me this

what do you do when...

after spending 2 hours at OMSI and decide it's time to head home, your devil child - I mean, DARLING child, chooses to lay on the floor and refuse to leave just as a school field trip is forging through the museum... at which point, you, being a loving parent, think it would cruel to allow your child to be trampled by other well-behaved children and try to coax her outside by having a rational discussion about why we need to leave. At which point, she, the sweet little thing she is, begins crawling and rolling around on the floor - in the midst of the crowd.

PAUSE

OH! don't let me forget to mention that you are carrying your lunch in a paper bag because between trying to keep her food on the table or in her mouth while nursing her infant sister during lunch with your friends, you didn't get the chance to eat. And you are carrying the baby in a wrap on your front.

RESUME RIDDLE

Now... in order to get outside and to the car and to protect this lovely little girl from being trampled you decide to get tough and GET 'ER DONE. In horror, you grab the sweet princess by the arm as she dead weights herself and DRAG her flailing, screaming body outside. I say "body" because it seems an exorcism may be necessary. Now, just as you get outside, your lunch bag rips and food is now all over the ground. Your soda explodes. And the cutest little girl ever is laying on the ground screaming. Your face is turns bright red,n you start sweating and you wonder "WHAT THE _____ DO I DO NOW?!". (insert expletive)

So... riddle me this folks - what do you do?!

You thank your lucky stars that your friend forgot her coat upstairs and exits the building just as you are standing there looking absolutely mortified and wondering how the hell you are supposed to now make it another 2 city blocks to the car and is able to help you get to your car even though she has TWIN two year olds.

Or, you learn from your mistakes and realize that Murphy's Law will come into effect 99.9% of the time when young children are involved and you bring a freaking STROLLER. Isn't that a bright idea.

I'm a f'ing genius.