Always something to laugh about

I consider myself very fortunate to be able to find the humor in things that piss me off. I’m also fortunate to tengo un hermana who also revels in this weird humor.

Last Friday I had my mother-in-law watch Kaitlyn while I took our nasty little BMW to get detailed so we can sell it once and for all. (I HATE THAT CAR WITH A PASSION) So, she gets up from her nap and we hop in the Expedition and drive to grandma’s house. 45 minutes later we arrive in NE Portland and make the drop. Now, I get back in the car and drive 50 minutes to Beaverton where the BMW has been parked on the street , hoping someone would just steal it. I swap cars and drive 20 minutes to the detail place and wait in line for 30 minutes in my nasty car. Finally, I can leave the keys and go pay…

I had been waiting not 3 minutes when the lady comes back in and says “Excuse me Ms. HUG-son, we can’t do your car. The doors don’t open from the inside.” WTF? I’m pretty annoyed after all that driving and waiting and don’t respond as nicely as I could have. I say something like, “what are you talking about? They work fine… did you not just see me get out of my car?” she goes on…” well, they don’t work so we can’t do your car.” (they work perfectly fine!) We go back and forth for a few minutes and I’m getting nowhere. I even offered to give her a lesson in operating a car door. I guess she didn’t think that was necessary as she handed me my receipt for a refund. So I stormed over the register – pissed off – and got my money back.

Now I get back in my dirty, nasty, hot car and get to sit in rush hour traffic all the way from Beaverton to NE Portland so we can do something with this thing. Now, it does have AC but because it is so nasty, there’s probably spiders living in the vents and I just knew that if I turned it on, spiders and spider paraphernalia would come flying out onto my face and I would crash. So, I sweat it out.

About halfway to grandma’s house I decide to call my sister, Angela, to tell her my story and vent… of course we made a joke out of the whole thing and came up with some rebuttals to the lady at the wash. I’m tempted to go back just so I can say some of this.

Lady: Your car doors don’t open from the inside.
Me: Is someone stuck in there right now?
Me: Did you see me kick the door open?
Me: Was I slamming my entire body against the door to open it?
Me: Did I appear winded upon exit of the vehicle?
Me: Was I flustered and hyperventilating from not being able to get out?
Me: Am I in my car now?
Me: Did I “Daisy Duke” it out of the window?
Me: Did I let myself out through the trunk?
Me: Did I ask for assistance?
Me: Was I screaming, “I’m trapped! I’m going to die”
Me: Was someone else screaming, “I’m trapped! I’m going to die!”
Me: Is someone NOW screaming, “I’m trapped! I’m going to die!”

NO. I opened the door just like any other door and got out. Apparently, you did too… Freak.